I'm back

This year is really bad and it is still not getting any better. I am missing grandma now.

Reminiscing the day when I was in school, I received a text from sissy saying grandma had passed away. I stoned for a while, thinking it was a mistake so I called jasmichew. She cried and I knew it was real. I broke down in school for the first time and I felt so helpless. Someone came to me and asked if I'm alright. I answered I was not and I need a cab and he helped me to call for one. At that point of time, I was so scared and I needed a hug. But I was alone.

Now I am alone in my room, I am feeling bad and I wanna hug her so much but I have to keep telling myself I can't, forever can't. Whenever I am feeling down, I really want a hug. Maybe I need it. I need a hug to console me that things will get better.

I've deleted everything again. I really want to start it brand new. I really need life to get better.